When I was younger, I was taught the story about the widow's mite, and how a poor widow gave two mites - "all that she had, even all her living." Jesus tells his disciples, "that this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury." (Mark 12:42-44)
Image by Amy Pectol
We feel very blessed today to have received a family's "two mites" to help us adopt. This family has very little when it comes to monetary means and some days it may feel like a struggle to survive. The money that was handed to us in a little white envelope was given to us at a price — they had been "saving their pennies" for something important, yet they felt that our need was greater than theirs.
While some may look on this event as too small to make a difference — simply a "drop in the bucket" — it was as if they had handed us a million dollars. We are so grateful and feel blessed for their sacrifice for us so that we can get one step closer to our dream.
We're on a journey of 1,000 steps and we're hardly even on step one, yet thoughts of adoption are on my mind constantly.
photo courtesy of singhajaykr25
This morning I woke up to thoughts of a future birth mother, a girl who may or may not enough know right now what challenges lie ahead in her future. I wondered where she lived, and what she was doing. I wondered about her family and her life.
A part of a song called "She" by Cherie Call came to my mind as I was thinking on these things. It goes:
And it breaks my heart every time I see her wonder
If she means anything in this world that pulls her under
And she doesn't always see the way that Heaven smiles above her
That's the reason I try to always tell her that I love her
As I pondered, I realized that the person who probably needs my prayers the most ... is her. She might have the support of friends, the love of family, or maybe, she feels as if she's alone, and that no one cares about her. She may even feel that the world is "trying to pull her under."
It's then that I knew that I needed to pray for her. As I prayed, I felt a strong connect form, and I felt so much love for this girl, one who I may never meet. My heart went out to her as I thought of what she has to face, and I wished that I could just give her a big hug and let her know someone cares for her.
I just want her to know, wherever she is in the world — You are loved. You are a daughter of God. You are going to have many challenges and hard decisions to make, but we are praying for you, and we love you. God knows who you are, and what lies ahead for you. Never give up!
Sarah
She
(Cherie Call)
She is not the picture on the magazine
She's the woman just behind you in the checkout stand
She may appear to be common but she mystifies
In all the ways the wisest men and children understand
'Cause she has eyes that sparkle with her love
And she has a smile that's as gentle as a dove
And no woman in a movie or an ad could ever hope to be
As beautiful as she
She is not a highly honored diplomat
Held responsible to lead the world to peace
But what she does is every bit as serious
Amidst the turmoil everywhere that will never cease
'Cause she has hands that wipe the tears away
And she has a voice that makes everything O.K.
And no woman from the papers or T.V. could ever hope to be
As indispensable as she
And it breaks my heart every time I see her wonder
If she means anything in this world that pulls her under
And she doesn't always see the way that Heaven smiles above her
That's the reason I try to always tell her that I love her
'Cause she may not be known for giving millions
To the charities and auctions on the news
But I believe she's given more than anyone
In all the times she's ever had to choose
To give up sleep to rock her children every night
And give her heart to always hold their dreams so tight
And the best that you or I could ever hope to be
Is as wonderful as she
And the best that you or I could ever hope to be
Is as wonderful as she
I met an older gentlemen, who you couldn't help but instantly form a connect with the minute you met him. He reminded me of a younger version of my grandpa, and you could tell he had genuine concern for everyone he meets.
With no knowledge of our current situation, he told a story about his daughter and how she had recently been able to adopt. He paused and then, with some emotion, stated that the bond between parents and child was just as strong as if it had been their own. You could tell that this man loved this new grandchild with all his heart and had a deep respect for family.
Hearing this story instantly brought tears to my eyes and touched something in my heart. It reminded both me and my husband once again that adopting a child is what we need to be doing at this time and strengthened us for our journey that lies ahead of us.
Thank you, kind stranger. Your words will always have a special place in our hearts.
One of my favorite artists is Cherie Call. She has wonderful music with beautiful messages, and I love listening to all her songs.
There is one song that I particular love, called "Delivery." It's a story about a 17 year old mom that gives her baby up for adoption and later receives a letter from the family who adopts her son. Not only are they so grateful and love this child "as their own," but tells the story of the Savior and how he was "adopted" by Joseph (his mortal Father).
Image by Jean Keaton
I love the comparison in this song, and I hope this song will touch you as much as it touches me.
She was only seventeen and she knew she couldn't keep him
But at that very moment she wished that she could try
He was sleeping in her arms with his hand around her finger
When a woman came and told her it was time to say goodbye
So she wrapped him in a blanket as her tears fell on his head
And she sent him with a letter, and this is what it said:
"I delivered you from Heaven, from God's gentle loving care
And I've entrusted you to mortals who have wished and prayed you there
They will be your earthly parents
Listen well to what they say
So they can deliver you back to Heaven
And I'll meet you there someday"
One day a few weeks later someone gave her a letter
And as she read the words she had to wipe the tears away
It said, "We don't know how to thank you
There are things that words can't say
He's the sunshine and the happiness that brightens all our days
And we couldn't live without him, and we love him as our own
He has filled the empty spaces in our family and our home
You delivered him from Heaven, something only you could do
And you have trusted us to love him and to teach him what is true
You have been our earthly angel
And I hope you know we pray
We can deliver him back to Heaven
That we'll meet you there someday
And even though you may not get to hold him for a while
A piece of you will be with him
Every time he smiles
And when he looks at his reflection, he'll see traces of the face
Of the one who made the sacrifice to send him to this place
Last night we read a story of a man who had a son
Who was from a different father, but he loved him as his own
And as he laid Him in a manger there were angels that were singing
And he knew that as a father he would never be alone
There are times we feel like Joseph
We need help from up above
And when you gave your son, you showed that father's kind of love
When you delivered him from Heaven
From God's gentle loving care
And you entrusted him to mortals who had wished and prayed him there
And when this life's laid out before us
I hope we all can say
That we delivered this child together
When we meet again someday
We'll deliver him back to heaven
And we'll meet you there someday
There are so many thoughts running through my head right now, its a little scary to try and put what's in my heart into words.
Children have always been a big part of my world, something I've always wished and dreamed about. But especially lately, as I see so many of my friends get married and have sweet little babies of their own, something inside of me aches. I am so excited and happy for them, but I wonder at the same time why I don't have a baby of my own. Sometimes its hard not to let my own feelings show when I hold a brand new baby or marvel at how smart a toddler can be. It's even harder when you have to smile and be optimistic when you answer the question "So, do you have any kids?"
Today was one of those days - overwhelmingly so. It was almost paralyzing as I realized that my dream of having my own little one hasn't yet been realized. As I waited for my husband to return home from work, I flipped through the April 2011 Ensign magazine.
Gratefully, I read a story from a sister who questioned her worth as a daughter of God and His faith in her to raise a child. She says:
"I felt so left out. Why were all these other women getting to experience pregnancy? I had tried to live my life worthily and do things I knew to be correct. So why wasn’t it happening for me?"
She put into words PERFECTLY things I have wondered myself as I've seen the lives of those around me to continue to grow while I felt left out and left behind. It is really easy to "lose faith" and lose heart during these times.
In the article, she continues by share a valuable lesson she learned about healing. When someone is healed, it can strengthen their faith. "But for those who aren't healed but continue to be faithful, their faith is being perfected."
Somehow, this simple example brought the confirming peace to my heart reminding me that this was the right thing for me to be pursuing in my life, right now, regardless of the challenges that will come with adoption.
Will my arms still ache when a friend's baby I am holding returns to their own family? Yes. But I am confident that one day soon, my arms will be full again, but with my own dreams realized and a child of my own.
