Most days, its easy to be optimistic and excited. I love the fact that we are hoping to adopt. I love that God put into our hearts that we need to adopt. Even with all the uncertainty, I feel blessed that others will reach out and give so much for us. I smile as I run my hands over a beautiful homemade blanket someone kindly gave and imagine using it for our own child.
But then there are times, my heart just breaks.
"Just spend time with our kids, and you'll think twice before having your own."
"Don't adopt because you are scared, there are other options," and
"Don't you want your own kids?"
It's times like this that I'm not sure how I should respond. Should I smile, because yes, their kids are a bit of a handful at times, but even so, that makes me love them even more? Should I laugh and keep my mouth shut? Or should I explain how much those comments can hurt, regardless of the intent they were given?
After being married for four years and still no children, you wonder what the next step in your life is. The answer, loud and clear, for us was "You need to adopt!" We've had no medical testing, no fertility treatments, no answers from doctors. Life is just what it is. Yet, this decision was not made on a whim, and this decision was not made lightly. This is a part of this journey that we don't share often. We chose adoption first. We know that most people won't understand, will have lots of questions, and will have plenty to share with us. But even so, this is the path we choose to take.
I once heard someone say, "God brings us to our knees so He can lift us up."
Be Not Afraid, image by Greg Olsen
I can't tell you how many times I've fallen to my knees during this journey, especially during those times when you feel like all the running in the world only gets you one foot in the door. But then I remember that God will soon lift us up where He needs us to be, and I feel blessed, so blessed, that Heavenly Father is preparing me to soon meet an extraordinary young woman and an extra special child. Daily, I hold on to that beautiful image of a child in our arms and of the overwhelming love that comes when you are a part of a miracle.
Sarah
